Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Crockpot Ropa Vieja with Cuban Style 'Rice'

I'm all about trying new recipes these days. Sticking to being healthy is a whole hell of a lot easier when you aren't eating the same shit everyday...trust me.

Ropa Vieja...I have no idea what this means, but who fucking cares.

  • 1.5-2lbs chuck roast
  • 1 yellow onion, thinly sliced
  • 1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced
  • 1 yellow bell pepper, thinly sliced
  • 1 (6 oz) can tomato sauce
  • 1 (14 oz) can diced tomatoes
  • 1 tablespoon cumin
  • 1 tablespoon dried thyme
  • 1 tablespoon dried oregano
  • 4 garlic cloves, peeled
  • 1 bay leaf
  • salt and pepper, to taste

Add your peppers and onions into the crockpot. I used frozen peppers because A. I'm cheap and B. It's one less thing I have to chop with my crappy knives. 

Plop your meat on top. 

Cut deep slices into the meat and push your garlic cloves into the slits. 

Add the rest of the ingredients and crank up that crockpot. Cook it for 6-8 hours on low or 5-7 hours on high.

Now sit back and relax. 
Make some Cuban style goodness. 

  • 1 head of cauliflower, stem removed and roughly chopped
  • 3 thick sliced of bacon, diced
  • 1 (4 oz) can tomato sauce
  • 2 teaspoons cumin
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1 teaspoon onion powder
  • salt and pepper, to taste

First, take your bacon and add it to a pot and cook it down. I figured 3 slices was a typo.....so I used 5. Don't judge me. Or go ahead and judge me, I'll be over here enjoying my extra slices of heaven while not caring. 

While the bacon is cooking away, work on getting your cauliflower all 'ricified'. Yeah I just made that up...

Add you cauliflower and all the spices and tomato sauce to the pot that the bacon is cooking in. Mix thoroughly, lower the heat, cover and let cook for 12-15 minutes. 

Once the meat is all cooked, take some forks and shred that bitch. 

Serve like so...

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Trust me, I'm a professional...

So, some of you may or may not know, but I've lost about 70lbs in the past two years. I am constantly being asked how I did it; if I have any tips; like omg you don’t eat carbs?! So I figured I’d sit down and come up with the most useful tips to share with the world. Just kidding. My blog will only reach about 50 people, but who’s counting?

Before I give you the tips to live by, I am going to say one thing. Well, a few probably. Sue me.
I can tell you ‘til I’m blue in the face what changes you can make to your workout and diet routine but unless you are 100% willing to put in the effort, it is NOT going to happen. I can guarantee that. You can’t go into something like this half assed and expect a miracle. Also, what works for me may not work for you so test a few options out…like a buffet but a whole lot less fattening.  

1.      Stop fucking calling it a diet. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! Just stop. I honestly get mad when people ask me if I’m still on ‘that diet’. No asshole, this is just how I chose to eat now. Side rant: Why, when most women are offered a tempting dessert, do they insist on trying to make other’s feel bad for them? “Ohmygawddd, it looks so good, but I’m on a diet. Like, ugh, I can’t even watch you eat it!” Get over it. All you have to say is “no, thank you”.

2.      Find an activity that works for you. I lift heavy shit on the reg and it’s become my passion. Dancing around like I’m an extra on Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights….not so much. But hey, to each their own.

3.      When you find an article of clothing that you like…don’t buy it two sizes smaller as motivation. It’s a waste of money. Why? Because when they don’t fit after a month you’re going to take a handful of chocolate to the face and fall off the wagon. Buy it in your current size. It is much more gratifying to feel them falling off than having to struggle to put them on every few weeks.

4.      Step 1: Watch this video: CLICK ME!! Step 2: Do the exact same thing to your scale. Even use the same music if you’re feeling a little gangster. Weight is a horrible indicator of weight loss…ironic huh? I don’t weight myself for the same reasons that I don’t have skinny clothes. When I don’t see the number I was hoping for, I want to punch things…and then eat carbs. Lots and lots of carbs. Drenched in cheese.

5.      As I’m writing this, I am eating a Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg. Why?  A. Easter candy is bomb ass; B. It was 50% off; C. Because I fucking wanted one. If you’re having a craving, go for it. The longer you hold off, the more chance you have of binging and then immediately crying about it. And what happens when you binge? “Fuck it, I already cheated…I’ll get back on track tomorrow” And this, my friends, is what I refer to as an epic fail.

6.      Stop making excuses. Accidentally brushed your teeth with your face wash? Your boyfriend didn’t notice your 2 inch haircut? You forgot your iPod at home and were forced to listen to your office mates talk about whether Kim Kardashian’s ass is real or not? I.Dont.Care. Get your ass to the gym.

7.      Find a buddy. Even if they can’t workout with you or have no intentions of losing weight, it is more helpful than you know. All you need is that one person who is going to look at you when you suggest going to Taco Bell…and then immediately slap you in the face. Side note: I have a mean right hook if anyone is interested…

8.      Just because the box is green and the words “healthy” are printed on it, doesn’t mean it’s actually healthy. Take a look at the back of the box. See those ingredients? Do you have any idea what half of them are? Can you even pronounce them? No? Put it back. If you don’t know what something is the rule of thumb is not to eat it; a lesson from our childhood when our mother’s would yell at us for eating lint and licking windows that should have stuck around a bit longer.

9.      Make realistic goals. NEWSFLASH: You’re not going to lose 20lbs in a month. The faster you realize this, the less chance you have of wanting to strangle yourself with those two-sizes-too-small skinny jeans you bought that still don’t fit. If you did manage to drop those 20lbs, chances are you didn’t do it correctly so don’t be shocked when half of it creeps back on after your “I deserve this!” meal at the Cheesecake Factory.

Does the fact that I only have 9 tips rather than 10 bother you? Are you OCD like that? Good. I enjoy your discomfort.

For realsies though, if you need a buddy/mentor/motivational ass kicker, contact me. I promise not to go too hard on you. Just kidding. I’m totally lying.  

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Cavemen would totally dig a girl like me...

People make it look so easy to date when in reality, it fucking blows. The last date I went on, he spent the entire night texting his buddies because, and I quote, he “literally cannot live without [his] phone”. No thanks bro. A few dates before that, the dude brought thigh high stockings for me to wear for him…on our first date…you think I’m kidding. He literally begged me to put them on. Needless to say, I never contacted that kid ever again. I save my thigh high moments for…uhh, never. I’m not 5 nor am I making a porno.

I’ve gotten countless tips from friends about what I should and should not do/say during a date. The one suggestion I got that I don’t agree with is that apparently I shouldn’t talk about my workout routine because it’s intimidating. I’m sorry but Crossfit is a HUGE part of my life, I’m not going to hide that. Also, honestly, if the guy is intimidated by a strong woman to begin with, then I want nothing to do with them either. Grow a pair.

To answer a question you’re probably wondering…yes, I met most of my failed dates online. I’m a bit shy in person (understatement of the year!) so I took the virtual route. A route I have since regretted but, nevertheless, I had to put myself out there somehow.  My online profile is normal, cheery, and full of bullshitty fluff to make me seem a little less intimidating. I haven’t logged on in quite some time because I am tired of the same emails I get all the time—

“You seem like a nice girl, would love to get to know you!”

“We’d make awesome babies together!”

“Ur profile is kool. We have alot in commen, we shuld chat smetime!”

However, I think I may give it another go. Except this round, I want to try an experiment. I’m going to lay it all out there. Be brutally honest. Swear. Show them what I am really like. It’ll go a little something like this…

I can deadlift your body weight.

Oh, you’re still reading? Fabulous. You passed the first test. I’m a crossfitter. I lift heavy things on the reg and I’m not ashamed of it. If you want a chance with me, you shouldn’t be either.

I like to do outdoorsy things. Meaning, I’d rather spend my day outside in the mud than being indoors and staying pretty. I’ve been ziplining, parasailing, white water rafting, tubing off of boats, camping, off roading, snow mobiling, etc etc. I’ve gotten a manicure about 10 times in my entire life. See where I’m going with this?

I’m not jealous. I don’t do drama. I’m not going to call you 10 times because you didn’t answer my text quickly enough. I don’t fight unless it’s over the remote because you want to watch politics. And by fight I mean, we’z gunna wrestle. Winner takes all. Loser (you) gets forced to watch either Intervention or Diner’s Drive In’s and Dives.

I prefer boxer shorts over lingerie; sneakers over heels; flip flops over everything. It takes me less than an hour to get ready for a date; less than 2 minutes to go to the grocery store. I own 1 piece of jewelry and I don’t even know where it is. I think it’s a necklace.

I love animals. When I win the lottery, I plan on being a dog hoarder. Big ones, not those noisey small ones.

Enough about me. Let’s talk about you. You’re active. I don’t care if you can run a 6 minute mile or a 15 minute mile, as long as you enjoy being active and outdoors. You can hold a conversation about anything, yet you know when to shut the fuck up. You can tell me the difference between ‘then’ and ‘than’. You like sweets. You won’t mind taste testing my sweets. You have a perverted mind that took that the wrong way. Last but not least, you’re not a douchebag. Waving your credit card and yelling “ay yo!” to your waitress (yes, this actually happened) will get you absolutely nowhere with me.

How’s it look? We’ll see what kind of responses I get…any interest in hearing the best ones?

In the meantime, if there are any single crossfitting males out there looking for a sarcastic, dog loving, quirky crossfitting female…please come find me. I’m convinced you guys are the only ones that would be able to handle me. Plus, you’re probably hot.


Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Listening to Eminem makes me want to rant...

Can we discuss something for a second here? I don’t know why I’m asking but whatever…

Why why why are women’s workout clothing so fucking ridiculously made?

“Oh hey, you’re a little chubby…yikes, okay… all we can offer you is this skin tight, ultra-low v neck, polyester tank top in fuchsia and bright orange from our spring collection. However the biggest size we carry is large and it’s more of a youth medium in terms of fit”

Fuck you.

I’m sorry for the vulgarity but seriously. Why do I have to shop in the men’s section for a shirt that doesn’t expose my rack and spare tire and doesn’t turn me into a human color wheel? Don’t even get me STARTED on the length of the damn things. Did I miss the part where all females are under 5’5”? Do people not need to lift their arms over their heads anymore?

And sports bras…really? I have to double up on them just for an ounce of less bounce. Yeah, there are some great bras out there……for $60 a pop. (Note to coaches: anything involving jumping is sheer torture for us overly-endowed females. I can deal with it during WODs but for the love of god, stop making us do jumping jacks as a group in a circle. It’s uncomfortable on all fronts—haha, get it?) Did you just feel the ground move Mr. Sports Authority employee? Oh, that was just me in the dressing room doing my jump test. Failed.

Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way. After all, I am a 5’10” female with giant hooters and a torso that runs for days. So, I get it; I’m not your average make and model. However, it would be nice for at least ONE company to cater to my abnormal measurements. Is that too much to ask?

Friday, March 2, 2012

Happy Anniversary!...to me

Today is March 2, 2012 and it is also my 2 year anniversary of my lifestyle change.

Two years ago, I was about 70lbs heavier, severely depressed, and only wanted to get out of bed if it was to stuff my face with some type of carb or baked good. A phone call from my father changed my life (shout out to my daddy! Love you) All it took was for someone to see my spark fade; for someone to show that they were worried for me to snap out of it and make some changes.

I joined the Fitness Edge and dropped 11lbs in less than 2 weeks. I was flying high. I joined their weight loss contest where I was introduced to eating Paleo. 5 months later, I was down 50lbs. I felt amazing but I was getting bored. I knew how to weight train but never wanted to go down to the area because it was always full of guys and I felt like everyone would be watching me. I lived on the treadmill (after finally giving up the stupid elliptical) and hit a plateau.

A month later, I was in my first on ramp class with Colin and Mark. Our workout was squats, sit ups and running. “Running! Nice!” I thought…until I made it back from that first round and realized I was still severely out of shape, even after months on the treadmill.

Fast forward to the present, and I couldn’t imagine spending more than 30 minutes on a treadmill ever again. I couldn’t imagine a workout that didn’t involve a barbell or dumbbell. I love working out. I love feeling like shit after a workout just because I know I’m going to feel amazing an hour later. I love my new friends and support group. I will never give this up. I will never go back to the way I was.

Sometimes I wish I would be further along than I am right now. It has been 2 years and I wanted to be down 100lbs at this point. However, this was the first time in my long fat life that I was able to drop a substantial amount of weight…and keep it off. So that in itself is an accomplishment I am proud of.

2012 will be the year I hit my 100lb loss. It will also be the year I do a strict pull-up, a handstand pushup, a muscle up and wear a tight dress in public (I’ve never made it out of the dressing room in one).

HUGE shout out to my friends at Crossfit Milford…you guys have made my life so much easier just by being the best supporters EVER. 

Monday, February 27, 2012

Trust the process...

Let go. Just give it up, seriously.

No, I’m not talking about giving up on the process of getting healthy and being where you want to be, I’m saying let go of everything you think is holding you back. Stop thinking and just fucking do it.

I hit a huge milestone last week. HUGE. Well, for me at least.

I let go.

Last week I had been feeling really down about this whole process. I’m at the point in my progress where I think I hit a wall when in reality it’s just me being afraid of pushing further. I just had a conversation with my mom and she totally called me out on it. I get to this size and start getting more attention…whether it is from guys or even my friends and it freaks me out. I have always been pretty shy and hide away from attention. Being a bigger girl made it easier for me to feel like no one noticed me, that no one cared, and I strangely found comfort in it. I guess when you live your whole life one way it’s hard to imagine how you’d be able to live it any other way.

Well the compliments on my progress started flowing last week and for some reason, it didn’t freak me out! I welcomed it and thrived on it. Saturday night I was approached at the bar more than once and even got asked for my number…I’m 25 and that was literally the first time that’s ever happened. Sad. Haha but for once I felt more excited than scared. All it took was for me to smile and be confident and I think it all stems from the progress I’ve made in the gym. I’m feeling stronger, I’m not dreading workouts anymore (usually) and I haven’t had a workout where I was upset about my lack of effort in a while.

I’m going out this week and buying a smaller pair of pants (or 5). Usually I just let my clothes swim on me and eventually I gain the weight back and they fit again. Not this time. I’m pushing past this point and I’m not going to look back. I’m going to continue to make progress. I’m going to let go of that scale and base my happiness on my actual happiness.

A lot of us in this yearlong assessment are stuck on seeing a certain number when in reality we are making more progress than we think we are. You guys are KILLING WODs, dropping inches and are feeling awesome…focus on that. Trust the process. The results will come. You just have to let go of what’s holding you back; whether it be the number on the scale or the thought of people paying attention to you. You will get there, we will all make sure of it. 

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Smoky Bacon Chili and Cauliflower Goodness

First things first! Grab your handy dandy apron! I think I might start a collection of these, cause they are fun to wear...and pose in it...

That was the best 'sexy' face that I could muster up after a Tuesday WOD...yeah, not so much sexy as it is scary. But its hard to be sexy when your photographer is your 'brother-like' roommate who wont stop laughing at you. So I threw some bacon in...to spice things up for you guys

I felt the need to cook up something new and delicious this week, so I hit up paleomg.com's website to look for a good recipe. After deciding they were ALL good, I finally chose this sexy number. Let me tell ya, it is f'n amazing. I dream about it all day at work...okay, maybe that's a bit much, but really...it's pretty damn tasty. 

I doubled the recipe, but here is the original:
1lb ground beef
6 slices of bacon, cubed
1 yellow onion, dice
1 green pepper, diced
1 red pepper, diced (I bought frozen pepper strips...WAY cheaper and they're already cut!)
1 garlic clove, minced
1 - 14oz can of fire roasted tomatoes
1 - 8 ounce can of tomato sauce
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon chili powder
2 tablespoons smoked paprika
2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper, to taste

And here's what you do with all of that shit...

Get it all together...I forgot to throw the onions into the pic so I graciously drew one in for you 

Pull out a large pot and let your bacon cook down and crisp up a bit. 

A pot full of bacon? Do you really need to add anything else?!.....Apparently yes, let's continue

Once the bacon is cooked to your liking, add in your veggies and let cook for about 6 minutes or so

Add your ground beef and all the spices

Once the beef is browned, add your tomato sauce and fire roasted tomatoes

Mix well and let all the flavors meld together on low for about 10 minutes

Well, hey there gorgeous. You look f*#cking delicious...

Voile! There you have it! You can eat it straight up like this, or eat it over some cauliflower 'rice' 

Put 1 head of cauliflower into a food processor, chop that bitch up, then throw it into pot with a little bit of oil and garlic over low heat, cover and let the steam do the work. 

Ignore the pot of pasta in the background...one of the downfalls to living with boys who have obnoxious metabolisms. 

A dinner fit for a crossfitter... ;-)

It's a good thing

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Cravings. Everyone has them.
I live with 3 dudes who were blessed with obnoxiously fast metabolisms, big appetites and a love for pasta like I’ve never seen before in my life. We literally have a whole cabinet dedicated to boxes of Barilla Ziti and Franceso Traditional pasta sauce. Pasta just so happens to be my biggest craving, along with chocolate.
Since we’re on the topic of chocolate, let’s rewind to Halloween 2011. I had JUST started the paleo challenge and was trying to kick the chocolate habit. My roommate decided to buy over $50 worth of candy to pass out…and because Mother Nature is a bitch, only about 4 sets of kids hit up our house due to the snow on the ground. So you can assume how much candy we had left over; however, it does not stop there. My roommates actually put on costumes and went trick or treating themselves. Our neighbors were so ‘over’ the holiday that they gave my roommates all of THEIR leftover candy (some houses were even passing out jello shots…awesome). We had bowls...plural…full of candy.  I would come home from the gym to my roommate sprawled out on the couch in a chocolate coma with wrappers everywhere. 
Luckily, I survived. It wasn’t easy…and that’s the understatement of the century. How did I do it? Here are a few of my tips:
1.      Don’t let yourself get hungry. I’ve noticed that when I’m hungry, my brain shuts off and goes into straight up survivor mode and this is when binging usually occurs. Not good. Unless you’re binging on vegetables. Which isn’t likely.
2.      Make sure you always have water on hand. They have these awesome things called water bottles and, like, you can put water in it and it has a top so it doesn’t spill all over the place. (-->That was my best attempt at being a snotty valley girl. How did I do?) So you have no excuse to carry one around with you everywhere.
3.      If you get a craving, find something to keep you busy…whether it’s reading a book, doing the dishes, or just going into another room further away from the kitchen. When cravings hit, my brain literally haunts me, “just go eat it and get it over with…just do it, it won’t affect anything” The only way it stops is if I cave in…or find something to get my mind off of it.
4.      If you’re stuck in a room full of your friends stuffing their faces with junk food and you can’t leave…man up and deal with it! Try to remember how good you feel saying no to such food versus how you feel after you cheat. The guilt isn’t worth it!
5.      Find paleo substitues. Craving chocolate? You can have it! Here’s a great recipe for paleo chocoate cake in a mug…perfect size, great ingredients. Indulge in a healthy way. And try to limit these to 1 serving…kind of defeats the purpose if you’re going to take 5 of them to your face.
The holiday season has passed…for now. Easter candy trumps Halloween candy 100:1 so we’ll see if I can survive that round too.
Good luck!

Monday, February 6, 2012

The past is the past

I used to be 268lbs. I have a size 20 pair of jeans in my closet that used to be tight on me to the point where I barely even wore them. I wore SWEATPANTS out to a BAR for my friend's birthday because nothing else fit. I could barely put on my shoes because my stomach and massive boobs would always get in the way.

I thought I hid it well. I wore baggy clothes, stayed indoors and avoided cameras. However, the few pictures I have from that year paint a clear picture of how out of control I was.

I was severely depressed and I dealt with it by stuffing my face. I'm not talking about a bad meal here or there, I'm talking day long binges. Taco Bell was my best friend. I would make cakes just for myself and sit there in front of the TV eating it right out of the pan. I'd make pasta by the box and load it with parmesean cheese. It was bad. Looking back I still can't figure out how I let myself get that way.

I remember that day when I stepped back on the scale and saw 268lbs like it was yesterday. I stood there, holding my breath, trying to prepare myself for the number. When I looked down (and over my stomach) and saw it, it felt like I got kicked in the stomach. Before that, the heaviest I had been was 230lbs so that number was an absolute shock. I cried a little, ate a lot...and made the decision to snap the fuck out of it and save my life.

Tuesday, March 2rd 2010 was the hardest day of my life, but every step since then has been worth it. I still have a lot to do but I am more than pleased with the progress I have made both in my physical appearance and in my emotional stability as well.

I went through my old pictures and found my 'before' photos and it is SHOCKING. I didnt think I was THAT bad; I still cant even believe that that was really me. When I hit the 100lb weight loss mark, I will gladly post them on here and put up my 'after' pictures to go alongside them. I am very VERY excited for that day :-)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Today’s blog is going to be about someone who has literally been a part of my life since I was born. He has influenced me into becoming the person I am today more than anyone. Now, you’re probably thinking I mean that in a good way…which, sure—he’s done a lot of positive things for me. However, he was more like that ex-military step father who wanted the best for you but only knew how to relay the message by being unforgiving and stern.

My dad started Tae Kwon Do in his late teens and I was born a few years after. He would bring me into his classes in my car seat and once I was old enough to start the classes, I was thrown right in (age 5). My instructor (I’ll refer to him as ‘Sir’ because that’s what we were told to call him and I still to refer to him as such to this day) was intimidating and harsh. If you were out of line, he would pick you up by your belt and yell at you, or slap you with a stick in the thigh. There were also those days where he would make you stand on a cinder block and hold a board over your head. If it ever touched your head, you’d be doing drop pushups til the cows came home (basically burpees). I always did what Sir said because I was terrified of being punished. My form was impeccable (another reason why I am super anal about my lifting forms being precise as well; just a habit) but when it came to being able to keep up, I was never able to. I remember we used to warm up by running around the room and he wouldn’t let the other faster kids pass me. I could hear their comments from behind me as they tried not to step on my heels and I would eventually end up crying—which was never acceptable in his class either.

I don’t want to make Sir sound like a bad guy. I didn’t think so then, but I knew he wanted the best for me and I think that’s why he was so hard on me. He pushed me to the breaking point and I am a stronger and more determined person because of it. He’s honestly like another father to me; someone I’ve worked my entire life trying to impress. It wasn’t until I was about 21 years old that he gave me my first compliment. I will never forget a single thing about that workout because of it…tire flips, tire pulls and sprinting outside on a sweltering hot day and bag work inside. Because of a hectic college/sports/two jobs schedule, I had stopped going to his class. I haven’t seen him in a few years and to this day I am still terrified of running into him. I wouldn’t be able to handle him saying something negative to me. However, one day I hope to be confident enough to stop by and show him how far I’ve come since then.

The next person I would like a life altering comment from would be myself; I'm talking about being able to look into the mirror and actually like that I see. 2012 feels like it’s going to be a pretty productive and positive year so I am very excited

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Bacon & Sweet Potato Turkey Burgers


Yeah, I know that got your attention. It always gets mine, and there isn’t a damn thing wrong with that.

I’m always looking for new recipes. I’m kind of what you call a picky eater. My menu is always the same and I think it’s one of the reasons why I’m such a yo-yo dieter. So I’ve been trying to spice things up in my taste buds love life cause I’m a caring person like that.

I came across this recipe for Bacon sweet potato turkey burgers. It’s like a whole meal in one delicious meat patty. Throw it over a bed of spinach and you’re fuckin good to go bro.

Makes 8-10
2 pounds ground turkey
1/2 pound bacon
1 cup shredded sweet potato
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
salt and pepper, to taste

Step one: Grab your apron. 

Step two: Take a picture in it 

Mine kind of clashes with, ummm, every outfit I own but my mommy got it for me so I deal with it

Step three: Cook your bacon. Directions say to cook it til it's almost done, but I like mine crispy

Step four: Chop up bacon, shred your sweet potato (food processor is a life savor!), chop your onions, and throw all the ingredients into a big bowl. 

Step five: Mix everything together and form into patties, cook and serve. Or if you're like me, form them into patties, wrap them in plastic wrap and freeze for future use. 

How easy is that?! And how delicious does it look?! 

My roommate has dubbed me 'Martha Stewart' of our household so I have been forced to end each recipe blog with the following:

It's a good thing

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Dreams...ya either love them, or hate them...

My dreams can be pretty ridiculous and last night was no different. They either get me really pumped or completely mind f@*k me. Last night I subconsciously gave my ego a huge and crushing blow. I won’t go into specifics about the dream (trust me, once you find out what it’s about you’ll probably be okay with me sparing the details) so I’ll provide you with an overview, if you will. Basically, I had just gotten done doing the naughty dance with some guy and afterwards he said something to me along the lines of “you might want to do something about that roll of fat you have”. What a douche, right?! Nevertheless, I woke up and my goal of trying to be more confident flew right out the window for the day.
If you’ve ever seen me at the gym, you will notice that I wear baggy everything. I hate tight clothing and I have hated it since I was a kid. It’s actually the reason why I stopped gymnastics and dance at such a young age. Karate, on the other hand, was pretty awesome. Those uniforms were nice and loose, just how I liked it. Anyways, getting back on track…I have always been shy about my body and even still at age 25, not much has changed on that front and having dreams like that definitely doesn’t help my situation.
I have always assumed that people think the worst of me and it’s something I hope to work on during this year long journey. There’s nothing you can do tomorrow that you can’t do today…so here’s to hoping I can brush off the comment that no one other than myself (technically) has said to me and stay on track.
He was a horrible lay anyways!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Intro to my journey!

Goals. I’ve had weight loss/health goals for as long as I can remember. I’ve been overweight since I was a kid and the teasing and torment from other kids really made my life a living hell. I dreamed of being skinny, fitting into the ‘cool clothes’ from the popular stores, and being able to sit on a chair without my ass hanging off the sides. Because of this, I tried anything and everything to lose weight. 6 week body makeover program, trimspa, hydroxycut, xenadrine, zantrex 3, slim fast, protein bars, grapefruit diet, low carb diet, low fat diet, anorexia (can of tuna and glass of milk a day gets old really f*%#ing fast by the way) compulsive exercise where I’d workout at least 3 hours every day. They worked great for the month they lasted but it really took its toll on my body. I was exhausted all the time and once my cravings became unbearable, I’d jump in my car and go get a hit of my most favorite drug—taco bell. Honestly, I’d eat dog shit if it were covered in their cheese sauce. But I digress…long story short, I am a classic case of a yo-yo dieter.

For once though, I found something that is working. Crossfit and Paleo saved my life, literally. After I graduated college, I hit a pretty dark spot. Depression took its toll and weight gain spiraled out of control; I was steadily approaching 300lbs. I joined a Fitness Edge and participated in one of their weight loss contests. A year and 50lbs later, I told the elliptical that we needed to see other people (he was heartbroken, I’m sure). I walked through those CFM doors and nearly shit myself with both excitement and trepidation and I haven’t looked back since.

I’ve done 2 paleo challenges and a Tough Mudder this past year and have learned that contests, deadlines and being held accountable for my actions are the key to keeping me on track. So when I heard about this year long assessment, I knew I had to partake.

We were asked to choose 3 goals for this year. Mine are pretty basic but are something I really feel I need to accomplish:

1.       Hit that 100lb total weight loss target (about 40lbs to go!). I have given up on weighing myself because I’ve realized that it severely affects my mood and actions for the day. However, every month I would like to step back on and see how close I have gotten. Plus, to be 100% honest, once I see that 100lb weight loss, I’m buying myself a skanky dress and going out to celebrate.

2.       Be more confident, in both my abilities in the gym and in myself. Years of teasing takes a toll on someone’s view about themselves. If any of you have seen me in the gym, I hide in the back corner (I don’t like to be watched) in my gym clothes that are swimming on me and I’m pretty damn quiet. Also, I am continuously being reprimanded by the coaches (mainly Colin) about not having enough weight on my bar, etc. That’s mainly due to the fact that I don’t trust my own strength and I don’t like to fail.

3.       I have a few fitness related goals so I’ll lump them all into one: 180# clean and jerk (currently at 145#), 8 min 2k row (currently at 8:33), unassisted pull up, handstand push up and a rope climb.

Boom. There you have it.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Here we go!

Hey guys!

So this yearlong assessment officially starts on Monday January 23...so that means this is the last weekend of the year where I am free from judgement and the watchful eye of others! I hate to admit it, but I am definitely one of those "well my 'diet' starts Monday, I'm going to eat all my favorite things this weekend". Not to mention, I am throwing a birthday bash for my roommate where there will be lots of dip and jello shots...and what kind of roommate would I be if I didnt help celebrate?! Come Monday, I will feel like complete crap but this will be the last time I get to do it so...bring it on!

Happy Friday! Have a fantastic weekend :-)