Why why why are women’s workout clothing so fucking ridiculously made?
“Oh hey, you’re a little chubby…yikes, okay… all we can offer you is this skin tight, ultra-low v neck, polyester tank top in fuchsia and bright orange from our spring collection. However the biggest size we carry is large and it’s more of a youth medium in terms of fit”
Fuck you.
I’m sorry for the vulgarity but seriously. Why do I have to shop in the men’s section for a shirt that doesn’t expose my rack and spare tire and doesn’t turn me into a human color wheel? Don’t even get me STARTED on the length of the damn things. Did I miss the part where all females are under 5’5”? Do people not need to lift their arms over their heads anymore?
And sports bras…really? I have to double up on them just for an ounce of less bounce. Yeah, there are some great bras out there……for $60 a pop. (Note to coaches: anything involving jumping is sheer torture for us overly-endowed females. I can deal with it during WODs but for the love of god, stop making us do jumping jacks as a group in a circle. It’s uncomfortable on all fronts—haha, get it?) Did you just feel the ground move Mr. Sports Authority employee? Oh, that was just me in the dressing room doing my jump test. Failed.
Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way. After all, I am a 5’10” female with giant hooters and a torso that runs for days. So, I get it; I’m not your average make and model. However, it would be nice for at least ONE company to cater to my abnormal measurements. Is that too much to ask?
You are hilarious!!! Love you!! And you are so right!! I'm the opposite. No boobs but I have to stuff my ass into the tights.Be proud of your boobs girl. I have these national geographic hookups!! And I have a short torso and really short legs so sometimes I might be lucky enough to pull a pair of workout pants well up to my breast!!
ReplyDeletehahaha National geographic! That's hilarious. Kinda jealous of how far up you can probably pull your pants lol I'm always yanking mine up...wedgies arent attractive though!
DeleteLMAO! I know I can't relate since I'm short and don't have any boobs (CrossFit seriously stole a cup size from me! Not cool), but I love your blog. It's so true. I just think it's crazy that all the damn models for workout clothing look like that picture up there. She's wicked thin! What the hell? Does she have any muscles or a pinch of fat anywhere on her anorexic frame? It's ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteOh CF has stolen plenty from me as well!
DeleteThey should use models that are actually physically active lol you know damn well that girl can't do a 95# thruster!
sweet, glad to find your blog, amanda. and um, you're hilarious. i especially love this picture. those workout pants are in.sane.
ReplyDeletekeep going, you're doing an awesome job.
Glad you found it!
DeleteIf anyone showed up to CFM with those pants, they'd never hear the end of it lol
Thanks for the support! :-)
So Funny! I am grateful for my itty bitty boobies...
ReplyDeleteAmanda, you are so funny!! Don't forget about the squat test either...gotta make sure the junk stays in the trunk :P
ReplyDelete