Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Today’s blog is going to be about someone who has literally been a part of my life since I was born. He has influenced me into becoming the person I am today more than anyone. Now, you’re probably thinking I mean that in a good way…which, sure—he’s done a lot of positive things for me. However, he was more like that ex-military step father who wanted the best for you but only knew how to relay the message by being unforgiving and stern.

My dad started Tae Kwon Do in his late teens and I was born a few years after. He would bring me into his classes in my car seat and once I was old enough to start the classes, I was thrown right in (age 5). My instructor (I’ll refer to him as ‘Sir’ because that’s what we were told to call him and I still to refer to him as such to this day) was intimidating and harsh. If you were out of line, he would pick you up by your belt and yell at you, or slap you with a stick in the thigh. There were also those days where he would make you stand on a cinder block and hold a board over your head. If it ever touched your head, you’d be doing drop pushups til the cows came home (basically burpees). I always did what Sir said because I was terrified of being punished. My form was impeccable (another reason why I am super anal about my lifting forms being precise as well; just a habit) but when it came to being able to keep up, I was never able to. I remember we used to warm up by running around the room and he wouldn’t let the other faster kids pass me. I could hear their comments from behind me as they tried not to step on my heels and I would eventually end up crying—which was never acceptable in his class either.

I don’t want to make Sir sound like a bad guy. I didn’t think so then, but I knew he wanted the best for me and I think that’s why he was so hard on me. He pushed me to the breaking point and I am a stronger and more determined person because of it. He’s honestly like another father to me; someone I’ve worked my entire life trying to impress. It wasn’t until I was about 21 years old that he gave me my first compliment. I will never forget a single thing about that workout because of it…tire flips, tire pulls and sprinting outside on a sweltering hot day and bag work inside. Because of a hectic college/sports/two jobs schedule, I had stopped going to his class. I haven’t seen him in a few years and to this day I am still terrified of running into him. I wouldn’t be able to handle him saying something negative to me. However, one day I hope to be confident enough to stop by and show him how far I’ve come since then.

The next person I would like a life altering comment from would be myself; I'm talking about being able to look into the mirror and actually like that I see. 2012 feels like it’s going to be a pretty productive and positive year so I am very excited

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Bacon & Sweet Potato Turkey Burgers


Yeah, I know that got your attention. It always gets mine, and there isn’t a damn thing wrong with that.

I’m always looking for new recipes. I’m kind of what you call a picky eater. My menu is always the same and I think it’s one of the reasons why I’m such a yo-yo dieter. So I’ve been trying to spice things up in my taste buds love life cause I’m a caring person like that.

I came across this recipe for Bacon sweet potato turkey burgers. It’s like a whole meal in one delicious meat patty. Throw it over a bed of spinach and you’re fuckin good to go bro.

Makes 8-10
2 pounds ground turkey
1/2 pound bacon
1 cup shredded sweet potato
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
salt and pepper, to taste

Step one: Grab your apron. 

Step two: Take a picture in it 

Mine kind of clashes with, ummm, every outfit I own but my mommy got it for me so I deal with it

Step three: Cook your bacon. Directions say to cook it til it's almost done, but I like mine crispy

Step four: Chop up bacon, shred your sweet potato (food processor is a life savor!), chop your onions, and throw all the ingredients into a big bowl. 

Step five: Mix everything together and form into patties, cook and serve. Or if you're like me, form them into patties, wrap them in plastic wrap and freeze for future use. 

How easy is that?! And how delicious does it look?! 

My roommate has dubbed me 'Martha Stewart' of our household so I have been forced to end each recipe blog with the following:

It's a good thing

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Dreams...ya either love them, or hate them...

My dreams can be pretty ridiculous and last night was no different. They either get me really pumped or completely mind f@*k me. Last night I subconsciously gave my ego a huge and crushing blow. I won’t go into specifics about the dream (trust me, once you find out what it’s about you’ll probably be okay with me sparing the details) so I’ll provide you with an overview, if you will. Basically, I had just gotten done doing the naughty dance with some guy and afterwards he said something to me along the lines of “you might want to do something about that roll of fat you have”. What a douche, right?! Nevertheless, I woke up and my goal of trying to be more confident flew right out the window for the day.
If you’ve ever seen me at the gym, you will notice that I wear baggy everything. I hate tight clothing and I have hated it since I was a kid. It’s actually the reason why I stopped gymnastics and dance at such a young age. Karate, on the other hand, was pretty awesome. Those uniforms were nice and loose, just how I liked it. Anyways, getting back on track…I have always been shy about my body and even still at age 25, not much has changed on that front and having dreams like that definitely doesn’t help my situation.
I have always assumed that people think the worst of me and it’s something I hope to work on during this year long journey. There’s nothing you can do tomorrow that you can’t do today…so here’s to hoping I can brush off the comment that no one other than myself (technically) has said to me and stay on track.
He was a horrible lay anyways!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Intro to my journey!

Goals. I’ve had weight loss/health goals for as long as I can remember. I’ve been overweight since I was a kid and the teasing and torment from other kids really made my life a living hell. I dreamed of being skinny, fitting into the ‘cool clothes’ from the popular stores, and being able to sit on a chair without my ass hanging off the sides. Because of this, I tried anything and everything to lose weight. 6 week body makeover program, trimspa, hydroxycut, xenadrine, zantrex 3, slim fast, protein bars, grapefruit diet, low carb diet, low fat diet, anorexia (can of tuna and glass of milk a day gets old really f*%#ing fast by the way) compulsive exercise where I’d workout at least 3 hours every day. They worked great for the month they lasted but it really took its toll on my body. I was exhausted all the time and once my cravings became unbearable, I’d jump in my car and go get a hit of my most favorite drug—taco bell. Honestly, I’d eat dog shit if it were covered in their cheese sauce. But I digress…long story short, I am a classic case of a yo-yo dieter.

For once though, I found something that is working. Crossfit and Paleo saved my life, literally. After I graduated college, I hit a pretty dark spot. Depression took its toll and weight gain spiraled out of control; I was steadily approaching 300lbs. I joined a Fitness Edge and participated in one of their weight loss contests. A year and 50lbs later, I told the elliptical that we needed to see other people (he was heartbroken, I’m sure). I walked through those CFM doors and nearly shit myself with both excitement and trepidation and I haven’t looked back since.

I’ve done 2 paleo challenges and a Tough Mudder this past year and have learned that contests, deadlines and being held accountable for my actions are the key to keeping me on track. So when I heard about this year long assessment, I knew I had to partake.

We were asked to choose 3 goals for this year. Mine are pretty basic but are something I really feel I need to accomplish:

1.       Hit that 100lb total weight loss target (about 40lbs to go!). I have given up on weighing myself because I’ve realized that it severely affects my mood and actions for the day. However, every month I would like to step back on and see how close I have gotten. Plus, to be 100% honest, once I see that 100lb weight loss, I’m buying myself a skanky dress and going out to celebrate.

2.       Be more confident, in both my abilities in the gym and in myself. Years of teasing takes a toll on someone’s view about themselves. If any of you have seen me in the gym, I hide in the back corner (I don’t like to be watched) in my gym clothes that are swimming on me and I’m pretty damn quiet. Also, I am continuously being reprimanded by the coaches (mainly Colin) about not having enough weight on my bar, etc. That’s mainly due to the fact that I don’t trust my own strength and I don’t like to fail.

3.       I have a few fitness related goals so I’ll lump them all into one: 180# clean and jerk (currently at 145#), 8 min 2k row (currently at 8:33), unassisted pull up, handstand push up and a rope climb.

Boom. There you have it.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Here we go!

Hey guys!

So this yearlong assessment officially starts on Monday January 23...so that means this is the last weekend of the year where I am free from judgement and the watchful eye of others! I hate to admit it, but I am definitely one of those "well my 'diet' starts Monday, I'm going to eat all my favorite things this weekend". Not to mention, I am throwing a birthday bash for my roommate where there will be lots of dip and jello shots...and what kind of roommate would I be if I didnt help celebrate?! Come Monday, I will feel like complete crap but this will be the last time I get to do it so...bring it on!

Happy Friday! Have a fantastic weekend :-)