Tuesday, June 25, 2013

I wasn't expecting that...

Sunday, I made the trip into New York City to meet with Dr. Jaime Schehr. She is the nutritionist that works with our Crossfit gym.  I figured Jay only associates himself and his business with the best, so why not give her a shot.

I went in expecting to only be consulted on my nutrition. I thought she would go over my meal plan, make a few tweaks and then send me on my way.

I was not prepared for what really happened.

She broke me down. I was sitting in her office crying for over an hour.

Once she was finished going over my medical and food habit history, she took a turn and went straight for my sweet spot: my self worth—or lack thereof.

The entire time we were talking, she took note on more than just my nutrition. She took note on how I talked about my life, how I felt about my job and my passions. Then she came right out and said it.

“You don’t think you deserve it”
“You take care of everyone else but never stop to take care of yourself. You won’t let anyone else take care of you either”.

“I bet you don’t let anyone see you cry”

“You don’t think you’re good enough, strong enough, pretty enough”
“I bet you’ve never told anyone how you truly felt about them or their actions”

She was right on all counts. She says that my weight issues aren’t only because of what I eat. It’s because I feel like I don’t deserve to have my dream body. That is exactly how I feel.

So, what’s next? I’m getting a meal plan along with some tasks to work on each week. She is making me try new foods (I have a palate and food stubbornness of a 10 yr old), making me find my passions and hopefully so much more. I am beyond excited.

Thursday, June 20, 2013


So, I'm not sure what I wrote about in my last post but since it was from the beginning of June, I'm sure it didn't involve my new meal plan. And if it did, sue me.

I have been following this trainer on Instagram for a while and she seems to know her shit. So I saw that she sells meal plans for $30. It's cheap enough for me to give it a go without feeling ripped off if it didn't work out.

So I paid the money and got my plan and my eyes popped out of my head. For the first week she wants me eating 210g of protein, 252g of carbs and 52g of fat. As the weeks progress, the carbs drop in half and the protein dips down a bit as well.

252g of carbs?! I'm used to eating maybe 50g of carbs on a good day. So it has been a struggle for me to allow myself to pump it up x5.

Shockingly, I am still hungry all day and when I go to bed. However, my energy for the gym has improved dramatically. I feel like I could do 2 hour sessions instead of just 1. I even went running yesterday on my 'off' day.

So, so far so good.

On Sunday I am going to see a real nutritionist--you know, someone with a PhD who studied this stuff for most of her adult life. I need to know what foods I should eat. Obviously veggies, meats, etc but I'm curious to know if I have any allergies, if my body reacts better to some foods, and all that funs shit. I'm excited to get on a good path and get this fat off my body once and for all.

My boyfriend is constantly saying 'I just don't get how people cant just...eat.' He hates the trends, hate the phrases and the programs. But, some of us need different things. Some of us need to be given exact examples and exact measurements so that we don't stray too far off the path. Some of us work better under someone's watchful eye. Some of us need a little extra help cause doing it on our own isn't exactly working out. He gets so annoyed with me so I try not to talk about it much with him. That's what a blog is for anyway, right??

Monday, June 10, 2013

Oh, hey June.

Where the hell has the time been going? I feel like this year is flying by...a little faster than I'd like too.

Weightlifting club has been AMAZING. I've been able to open up, be myself and make some serious gains. This is our last week :-( but I was happy to find out that Coach Ryan will be programming for us so it's not technically over. Over these past few weeks, I've come to realize how much I really love Olympic lifting.

Bye bye performance workouts. You will not be missed...

Also, we are starting a CFM Weightlifting team and will eventually be competing?? What? D'okay. I'm no where near where I need to be in terms of strength....or physical looks (singlets aren't flattering even on the greatest looking bodies) but I am ready to get to that point.

Next topic: Weight loss contests. I'm fucking done with them. All they do is stress me out and make me depressed. And you know what I do when I get stressed and depressed? Fucking eat. So I am done doing them.

I entered a diet bet where you pay $25 to the main pot and all the people who lose 4% of their body weight get to split the pot. Right now, the pot is at $19,600. And I'm pretty positive that I will be out the $25. I was doing FANTASTIC before the bet started. Its been a shit show ever since. I have issues.