Intro to my journey!

Goals. I’ve had weight loss/health goals for as long as I can remember. I’ve been overweight since I was a kid and the teasing and torment from other kids really made my life a living hell. I dreamed of being skinny, fitting into the ‘cool clothes’ from the popular stores, and being able to sit on a chair without my ass hanging off the sides. Because of this, I tried anything and everything to lose weight. 6 week body makeover program, trimspa, hydroxycut, xenadrine, zantrex 3, slim fast, protein bars, grapefruit diet, low carb diet, low fat diet, anorexia (can of tuna and glass of milk a day gets old really f*%#ing fast by the way) compulsive exercise where I’d workout at least 3 hours every day. They worked great for the month they lasted but it really took its toll on my body. I was exhausted all the time and once my cravings became unbearable, I’d jump in my car and go get a hit of my most favorite drug—taco bell. Honestly, I’d eat dog shit if it were covered in their cheese sauce. But I digress…long story short, I am a classic case of a yo-yo dieter.

For once though, I found something that is working. Crossfit and Paleo saved my life, literally. After I graduated college, I hit a pretty dark spot. Depression took its toll and weight gain spiraled out of control; I was steadily approaching 300lbs. I joined a Fitness Edge and participated in one of their weight loss contests. A year and 50lbs later, I told the elliptical that we needed to see other people (he was heartbroken, I’m sure). I walked through those CFM doors and nearly shit myself with both excitement and trepidation and I haven’t looked back since.

I’ve done 2 paleo challenges and a Tough Mudder this past year and have learned that contests, deadlines and being held accountable for my actions are the key to keeping me on track. So when I heard about this year long assessment, I knew I had to partake.

We were asked to choose 3 goals for this year. Mine are pretty basic but are something I really feel I need to accomplish:

1.       Hit that 100lb total weight loss target (about 40lbs to go!). I have given up on weighing myself because I’ve realized that it severely affects my mood and actions for the day. However, every month I would like to step back on and see how close I have gotten. Plus, to be 100% honest, once I see that 100lb weight loss, I’m buying myself a skanky dress and going out to celebrate.

2.       Be more confident, in both my abilities in the gym and in myself. Years of teasing takes a toll on someone’s view about themselves. If any of you have seen me in the gym, I hide in the back corner (I don’t like to be watched) in my gym clothes that are swimming on me and I’m pretty damn quiet. Also, I am continuously being reprimanded by the coaches (mainly Colin) about not having enough weight on my bar, etc. That’s mainly due to the fact that I don’t trust my own strength and I don’t like to fail.

3.       I have a few fitness related goals so I’ll lump them all into one: 180# clean and jerk (currently at 145#), 8 min 2k row (currently at 8:33), unassisted pull up, handstand push up and a rope climb.

Boom. There you have it.