Spring has sprung...

...and so have I. (man, if I had a penis that would make for a really awkward opening)

I don’t live. I just exist.

If someone were to ask what I do, I could give you a play by play of how my life goes every.single.day.

Wake up, shower, go to work, be miserable at work, complain about work on twitter, complain about work to my boyfriend, go home, watch Barefoot Contessa, go to the gym, come home, shower again, eat, watch more tv and then try to shut my mind off long enough to get some sleep.

I literally do this exact routine every single day. On weekends, I mope around the house using ‘destressing’ as an excuse to be lazy.

I sit here on my ass, day after day, wondering why I’m always so miserable.

 “Work is stressful”—but, is it really? I have to deal with calls all day but nothing affects MY life. Once I leave, no one is calling me at home for money and no one is bothering me for reports. My boyfriend raised a good question to me once “why do allow yourself to take your work home with you?” and it was a damn good question. I had no answer to justify why I let work drag me down and affect my life the way I’ve let it for so long.

“I’m broke”—but, am I really? I live on my own, pay all of my bills with no problem, and am able to put food in my belly. I’ve even been able to put money away each week instead of spending it on stupid things so that I can have a few GREAT things in my life soon.

“I hate the way I look”—but, do I really?...well, yes, yes I do. However, I am starting to appreciate myself more and more. I have a beautiful face, I am strong, I’m tall and curvy, and pretty soon I WILL be able to say that I love my body.

So what’s my problem? I guess I just let my negative thoughts get the best of me. I let my mind believe my day is going to be hell before I even experience it.

Today is the first day of spring, and it also sparks the first day of a new me. No more negative thoughts. No more allowing myself to be depressed about things I cannot change. No more being lazy and WASTING precious time. I want to do things. I want to laugh every day. I want to live. Because life is too fucking short.